2014, Almost...

My very first post in 2014, was about the disappointed...

I do try my best, to fix and make it right the thing that ain't right.

But if there's people say that i am do nothing, that hurts me.

Like people say, words will hurt you much than blade.

I think that phrase is right, words from the one we love is much hurting you so much.

I feel i was drowned

and there's no way out..

Smile Please :)

Rania :))

My new favorite, Rania Zhafira :*

Baby Born

Sweety baby

My new nephew

I Love You :*

I want to be simple :)

Being a simple is not simple. Terkadang banyak yang merasa dirinya cukup simple dalam menjalani hidup, padahal tak pelak banyak orang lain yang menganggap kalau hidup yang ia jalani itu sangat rumit dan jauh dari kata simple. Karena pada dasarnya tidak ada orang yang tidak rumit. 

I Want To Be Simple.

Saya selalu menganggap besar masalah apapun yang saya hadapi *mengaku dengan jujur* walaupun saya masih dapat diakui tidak "drama queen". saya hanya ingin menjadi simple dalam menjalani hidup. Menjalani dengan jujur apa yang saya kerjakan dan tidak mempersulit hati saya sendiri pada akhirnya.

Hidup itu rumit, dengan segala macam tetek bengek yang mengekor di belakangnaya. Ditambah dengan banyaknya penonton yang mengantri di belakang kita melihat sebanyak apakah kerumitan yang kita alami. Dengan segala kesusah payahan saya ingin memulai untuk menjadi simple. Mari bertaruh kalau hal itu sangat sulit, mengingat betapa tempramen dan moody nya saya. untu memulai sesuatu yang baik pasti sulit kan *wink*

So, let's try to be simple everyone... *lambai-lambai tangan*

Play It!

I have a looklet accout, but recently i cant open it up *LOL*

Langit Di Kotaku

there is always a blue sky in the afternoon, or the cloudy sky..

but it's always bring a peace when you just looking at to the sky

say Alhamdulillah,,

:) :) :)

Outfit for UP!

Saya gak pernah menulis tentang my daily outfit di blog, karena jarang nulis juga, palingan cuma menulis perasaan-perasaan galau yang ada di hati (yaelah, masih zaman galau yah? :D) sampe post video klip korea yang lucu-lucu, hahaha (I’m so sorry yah, saya lagi kena demam korea! :D) 

dan lagi saya bukan orang yang fashionable, keseringan pake jeans ma kaos yang comfy, beserta sepatu teplek buat dipake kemana-mana :D

But, mbak wortje over a very nice chance..

UP personal giveaways.. yippie!!! I really want that wedges, dari pertama liat blog mbak diana dan web UP! waduhh.. ngiler sengilernya...

tapi tiap mau beli adaaaa ajaaaaa halangan... nasib... *tepokjidat

But now, I’m try to capture my outfit today,

Jacket by : kaozoid superhero tee yang bisa dilihat di facebooknya di http://www.facebook.com/kaozoid

Shirt : unbranded shirt

Pants : roxy jeans

Shoes : st. yves

Hijab : belong to my mother hijab

Saya gak pernah terlalu concern sama penampilan, bisa dibilang agak tomboy tapi nanggung, LOL :D 

Saya jarang banget pake wedges, kecuali kalo mau ke kondangan, tapi ngeliat all UP wedges, my passion has raise.

The reason why I want this wedges because it’s my LAFS (love at the first sight) to wedges.

saya rasa hampir semua wanita pernah mengalami pengalaman yang sama deh, ngliat sesuatu dan ada rasa-rasa kayak gimana gitu di hati.. *nyari alasan*

 

Jatuh cinta banget sama wedges UP! yang ini..

arrrgghhhhhhhhhh!!!! melting saya.... *kemudian pingsan hahahahahahah

So Mbak woro yang cantiiik, (nyogok ceritanya) semoga selalu dilimpahkan rezeki, kesehatan dan kebahagian yang banyak yaaah karena udah buat UP giveaways ini... *hugs*

See youuuu!!! :D :D :D

: that's again :

i;m happy with my self :)
my life, my family, my boy..

i think it's all perfect and suit me better.
i dont know about the rest and honestly i dont care.

have you ever feel, that you being hurt by the person you trust?
i have.

and that is a reason why i dont want to care anymore..

you and your life,
sad, desprate, cry, hurting your self..
i have done with it.

i already try to be a very best for you,
even you dont know it.
but i think and i have made my choice,
i already done with this.

now, its just about my life...
honestly,
i'm happy with this

:)
:)
:)

SHIT happend :(

why shit happens always in the right times?
oh my GOD!

can you just give me a break o dear Allah?
:(

its just like a pathetic pray from me, but believe me, i am in a very complicated condition.
just like shit always happens in a particular time.
i have confused about it, why trouble always know where and when to comes?
is that troubles has a six sense or let me say, radar?
i just never have expectation to this situation.

arghhh...
i just can say, SHIT!

-across the night from silverchair- make your sleep being a quality sleep :D

Obsession

Lately, i often to think about obsession. i don't know exactly, what obsession is, so i try to search it from the internet. here is the result..

Adj.	1.	obsessed - having or showing excessive or compulsive concern with something; "became more and more haunted by the stupid riddle"; "was absolutely obsessed with the girl"; "got no help from his wife who was preoccupied with the children"; "he was taken up in worry for the old woman" haunted, taken up, preoccupied concerned - feeling or showing worry or solicitude; "concerned parents of youthful offenders"; "was concerned about the future"; "we feel concerned about accomplishing the task at hand"; "greatly concerned not to disappoint a small child"
	2.	obsessed - influenced or controlled by a powerful force such as a strong emotion; "by love possessed" possessed controlled - restrained or managed or kept within certain bounds; "controlled emotions"; "the controlled release of water from reservoirs" from http://www.thefreedictionary.com

1. Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.
2. A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion. from http://www.answers.com/topic/obsession

and here are another explanation about obsession :

Definition : An obsession is an unwelcome, uncontrollable, and persistent idea, thought, image, or emotion that a person cannot help thinking even though it creates significant distress or anxiety.

Description : Obsessive ideas seem unnatural or alien to those who have them, but are nevertheless recognized as originating from the person's own thoughts—they are not seen as delusions sent or controlled by an outside party.

Typical obsessions include fear of contamination as from doorknobs or handshakes, worry about leaving things in their proper order, persistent doubts about one's responsible behavior, scary images involving violent acts, and images of sexual acts. People with obsessions may find themselves acting in compulsive ways in largely futile attempts to relieve the anxiety associated with their persistent, unpleasant thoughts. Others suffering from obsessions may try very hard to control or ignore them. It is important to note that legitimate worries about daily concerns—paying bills, studying for exams, keeping a job, interpersonal relationships—are not obsessions. Although they can occasionally be carried to obsessive lengths, these concerns can change with circumstances and, in most cases be controlled, with planning, effort, and action. Obsessions relate to problems that most people would consider far removed from normal, daily events and concerns.

See also Compulsion ; Obsessive-compulsive disorder

Dean A. Haycock, Ph.D.

from : http://www.minddisorders.com/Ob-Ps/Obsession.html


why i writing about the definition of obsession?
because i think everyone has an obsession inside of their mind. obsession about material thing like car, jewelery, cloths, shoes, bags and any other. and there some obsession about love and position.
people live with it everyday, they make an obsession become their motivation.
and reason why they have to trough all the problems in life.
obsession can be a good motivation, but it can make people mad about it too.
obsession can make people desperate. make people suffer because of it.
and make people lost their mind.
if we have an obsession, we can make it as our motivation.
as long as we know the borders of it.
be careful of your own obsession.

feel and think..

i feel like mummy these days. loosing my time, need a lot time to sleep, mend my heart to not angry every time i heard about the thing that i don't wanna hear and make sure that i still have awareness to running my days.

now i easy get cry, get cough, get fever, and get angry.

its not like me exactly. maybe if my friend meet me at this time, they will ask me :
"hey.. what happend with you?"
and i just can answer it with
"i'm very tired"

i really tired, i need break from this routine. i just cant stand any longer.
i want to make day much better, but in the end, i make it much and much harder.

i miss my days before this, even it can say a haapy day, but i think i need rest.

if i can take a positive thing from all this stuff, i will tell you letter.
but, for now, i really cant see what the positive thing i can reach from this.

living life and grow up, is not easy for people, include me.
i think its hard to do, and so many responsible to take.
include to face my days earlier.

i think i need extra laugh. to keep my brain healthy and to not think about creepy or do something illegal.

edited newbie with picnik :)

love is like a good weather in spring, make you comfort to running your days.

love is like sunshine in summer, make your brighter everyday,

family always comes first when you feel you are alone,

make you smile when you sad,

and understand who you are.

walk down your path, and make you own way,

do not turn out the past,

because future is waiting for you...

i try to edited my photos with picnik.
still newbie :)

-story about a girl-

another day has been through..
so many story was happened. but only the best one will remain forever.

I got a story to tell
About a girl that always cry and easy to laugh. That girl so naïve, she is think that she can save all of people and make her life become a happy ending story and happily ever after. Always looking a good friend to share, but she always got ignorance from other.

Once she got a friend, she think, that it can be a long lasting friendship, but she is wrong, she get hurt again. She cry, looking for any place to go, but than she realize, she all alone.

Cry, and walk a down alone, with night become more late. She never knew, why she cant have a good friend. She asked herself, did i do something wrong? Or I talked to much? Or im not a good listener?
She keep walked, and thinking, with eyes, drown with tears.

Until, she get a place that called “awareness”. She been realized, and understand it,
That a good friend, will care of her. Do not tell or saying a word that hurt her heart. Understand what she say, and make a joke and laugh each other. A good friend that tell the truth and say if she was wrong.

And she asked her self, did I already do that?
She came back to home, and learn again.
Tomorrow if I can get any chance to make a new friend, I will be a good friend of them.
And I will tell, if their was wrong. Tell the truth to them, even it hurt. And make a joke and laugh together.

Its been along day since that, and that girl now, has a some good friend. I mean a REALLY good friend. Not a fake one.
And now, that a girl thankful GOD, already give her awareness.

Now, she has big smile and always try to be a good friend to friend that she have.
Like someone say,
if you never fall, you never understand how to stand and moving on.

And for your information,
It’s not a happily ever after story, it is till running until now.
And hope she can always be a good friend of someone else.
and found her true friend.
:)

Rhapsody In Blue Gershwin from Nodame Cantabile Dorama. played by S-Orchestra. My Favorite Scene ever!

" ... "

i just want to say i'd give up, in a right way.
i want to make a farewell in a right way too.
i want there's no regret in my heart.

i take my way, and i walk it as my self.
i dont want to make it hard.
but i have to walk my path, with my own way.

you, or him, or her..
i dont care it all.

i'm is what i'm..

A Walk in the Clouds, my favorite movie ever :D

. . .

i'm lost..
feel lost in out of space. float in a middle of nowhere..

i think it just for awhile, but i was wrong,
it stay at there, till i cant stand no more.
i'm drowing in tears.
leave me in a middle.

i want to be free from all this feeling,
i want to let it go,
but when i think i ready for it,
i fall again.

leavin it.
i want to leavin all of this.
i think i can.
i'll try it.
i want to be free from :
"them"

my past...

my review :)

PS, I Love You by Cecelia Ahern

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


this book makes me cry, and then laugh, cry again and smile..

i just cant imagine how its like if the one that i love pass away just like gerry.
read this book, makes me learn about something.
and surely i cant forget about this book..

easy to read, make p.s. i love you become one of my favorite book :)

you have to read this.
because it can make you cry till laugh and cry again.
enjoy the book!



View all my reviews

my thought

i think life is just a game.
a game that has arranged by GOD.
we just have to play our part.

how we run our part is depend on us.
what character that we have play is ours too..

will we use our mask or we just play the game as our self??
just up to you.

sometimes, i just wonder how it feel to play our game with mask.
how does it feel?

do they not feel tired? for me, not become our self when we do something is the hardest thing to do.
my heart feel exhausted everytime i try to wear the mask when i play my own part.

in life, people come and go with easily.
troubles, happiness, sadness even a bad luck.
a wheel of live is always turn up and down.
so, if they always use the mask, what happend with their real face?

i dont know how to answer it,
maybe you know, and can tell me what the answer.

:(